when u roll em that fat...

sometimes u just gotta get naked
and enlist upon the help of a brother

first hartlepool sighting

fucking disgusting weirdos

 

the awakening of young robert

greigys dungeon

give him back he doesn't even like fish unless it's battered

pure dutt

Rathouse

I’m not the rat I used to be,

i’m not a rat at all,

i am just a shadow behind the cracks of every wall.

I see things that shouldn’t be seen,

so my skin will start to crawl,

away from every inch of flesh, thats stands me up so tall.

I see more than most rats in a house,

I’ve seen rats eat more than a mouse,

I’ve seen poison swallowed with pride,

no longer a killer, just a means to get high.

And now you humans are just squirming at the thought of us vermin coming at you when your gurning.

never taking drugs again

this shit is fucked up

captain chilveys fishy fingers

carnage is fucking gay

great song

u just pissed but...

mother fucker I will never change
& If ur mouth ain't waterin then trust me u can fucking do one

BBC on tour

someone pass my man a lighter

Who's got the dryest pukpukz

Colonel Chongeh

Amen. 

wanted..

for war crimes against the singular gary

SMALLEYS GONE TO HARTLEPOOL

teesside twist crew gunna eat u alive

dunno whats greasier, smalleys life or a parmo?

im friends with so much furniture

errrr...WRONG

smalley we are sorry for what we've done

repent

call urself a beetroot farmer?

i've seen better beetroots in kevins pants

nice view

mitchell

happy st georges day

 rather be jamaican 

battersby says...

2 much slacking. not enough battering.

batter on.

batter him

batter smalley.

baltoff

"As the name suggests, the Balti King specialises in the traditional Balti dish. Balti is an aromatically spiced Indian dish, cooked in a cast iron wok to enhance its exotic flavours. Each dish has its own distinctive taste, where the herbs and spices are added in individual amounts to achieve the authentic and unique flavour. Having served up aromatic meals for over ten years, it is clear to see why the Balti King is considered royalty!"

ermm.. nah mate. 3 plain naans and 10 plain fucking poppadoms 

promto u cunt 

sasha

i want to fuck your mouth

badman pose of the week

pubes will come my son

the pubes will come

can I take your order please?

cheese

otter

breadsticks 

& toast

these are the foods that I like the most

curry

carrots

teaspoons

& ghosts

these are the foods I don't let down my throat

it's nothing to do with personal taste
i just don't like the texture of hard things or paste

GHOULISH

cool

but that ain't cool with me

an ice cube for lunch
and a singular pea

fill me up? 

does it fuck.

 i don't want
anything substantial, like the delight of blancmange

i eat nothing but breadsticks
i SAID!

so fuck off waiter, or you'll end up brown bread.

mitchums best photography yet

but theres no way shes cleaning my fucking windows

TIGHT

always been a paksum

1st of May

is everyone available for a spiritual séance?

we will be attempting to contact rob france from the other side

please bring along at least a gram of ket each, and can someone bring half a gary for smalley?

I propose first off we send smalley over there to investigate

do you do your ironing at work?

To: Linda Smalley

congratulations lloyd and elaine

happily married and a little lloydicrust on the way too

whos next??

JOKE OF THE DAY

What DID melvin the magnificent hamster and 50 cent have in common?

both got shot 9 times. 

gutted

supersmalls

obviously needs to hide his face after what bigben just showed me

bobbys trip to uganda cancelled

scarface

best sexual experience

in a fucking bush? a see through bush? in sherwood forest?

WEIRD

Your so fucking weird.
Proper proper weird. 

The way you sneak around this town,
it's like you live in fear?

But your the one that made your bed,
when you choose to live a lie,
and you're the one, that six months on,
has a girlfriend you try to hide?

You're little fucking games are poor,

they don't wash with me my son,

we caught you out that very first week,
when at the door, arrived your mum

"Have you seen Thomas today?
We can't get hold of him?"

"He said he went home yesterday,
to hang out with the cool kevin?"

BLURGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

slack like linda

celebrating 10 billion viewers on the blog

fuck off

ur not welcome

( that means you greig )

smallest

he used to be our smallest friend

but now he's rather large

he used to chill with all the lads

but now he's far to fast;

to escape along the back alleys

along sheffields hidden walls

a secret passage straight to greigs 

where he think's he can't be caught

but then i saw him, with a sewer rat
it was like they were almost friends
creeping, crawling, slyly stalking
drives me round the bend
so out I run, i'm not scared no more
and I put him on the spot
what u hanging with herbert for?

have u lost the fucking plot?